Janet Jackson’s song is about her dating and how her boyfriend treats her. I have always said you never marry your clients, but you do date them. So you may want to listen to her song again and ask yourself, what are you doing for your clients lately?

Used to be a time when you would pamper me
Used to brag about it all the time
Your friends seem to think that you’re so peachy-keen
But my friends say neglect is on your mind
Who’s right?
What have you done for me lately?
Ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah
What have you done for me lately?
Ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah

– Janet Jackson

Don’t take your clients for granted. There is a delicate balance as to how you keep in contact with them.

This is the perfect time of year to evaluate your client relationships.

I never ask for more than I deserve
You know it’s the truth
You seem to think you’re God’s gift to this Earth
I’m tellin’ you, no way

– Janet Jackson

Those last verses remind me of being in a camera store and waiting for the guy in front of me to finish with the sales representative. I had known this salesperson for many years, and we were friends. After the guy left the store, the clerk commented that “some photographers are legends in their minds.”

A Few Tips

1.   Keep expectations practical. No one can be everything we might want them to be. Healthy relationships mean accepting people as they are and not trying to change them.

2.   Communicate with your clients.

• Listen. Do not interrupt or plan what you’re going to say next. Instead, try to understand their perspective fully. Summarize what you heard by trying not to repeat their words. This shows you are listening and allows them to clarify their thoughts.
• Ask questions.  Show you are interested.  Ask about their experiences, feelings, opinions, and interests.
• Share information.  Sharing information gets the ball rolling.  Let people know who you are, but don’t overwhelm them with too much personal information too soon.

3.   Be accommodating. It is instinctive to feel uneasy about changes. Healthy interactions allow for change and growth.

4.   Be dependable. If you make plans with someone, follow through. If you take on a responsibility, complete it. Healthy client relationships are trustworthy.

5.   Fight fair. Most relationships have some conflict. It only means you disagree; it does not have to tell you don’t like each other.

• Cool down before talking. The conversation will be more productive if you have it when your emotions have cooled off a little, so you don’t say something you may regret later. The anxiety you feel is natural, but taking the time to understand what is causing it will help you know how to communicate the core issues that need to be addressed without all the drama.
• Focus on the current issue.  The conversation will likely overwhelm you if you pile everything that bothers you.  Avoid using “always” and “never” language and address one issue simultaneously. Using these extreme terms to prove your point immediately puts someone else on the defensive and downplays or ignores the work they did (or did not) do.
• Take responsibility for mistakes.  Apologize if you have done something wrong; it goes a long way toward setting things right again.

6.   It’s a process. It might look like everyone else is confident and connected, but most people share concerns about fitting in and getting along with others. It takes time to meet people and get to know them. 

7.   Be yourself! It’s much easier and more fun to be authentic than to pretend to be something or someone else.