Whether using a phone or meeting someone you do not know, you are “Cold Calling.” If you play it right, this could be a “Warm Welcome.”

COLD CALLING is the sales process of approaching prospective customers or clients—typically via telephone, by email or through making a connection on a social network—who were not expecting such an interaction. The word “cold” is used because the person receiving the call is not expecting a call or has not specifically asked to be contacted by a sales person. A cold call is usually the start of a sales process generally known as telemarketing.

WARM WELCOME is a hearty, hospitable reception or greeting, as in We got a very warm welcome when we finally arrived.

My friend and I have met with a few photographers who are struggling these days. Today, we had lunch with another newspaper photographer who lost their job. Sadly, this is happening a lot these days.

First, this feels like crap for anyone going through this, and I have been through it two times. From the get-go, we wanted to let the person know that this had nothing to do with their skills but was most likely a numbers game. When that happens, you often will see some folks who kept their jobs while you lost yours, and it is hard to see the logic.

The great thing about these photographers is they are taking their time to asses their situation. They are also not sitting still either. This photographer had already created categories he will put on his website later. Personally, this photographer’s work was excellent. I wish I had all those images in my portfolio.

The photographer had some names of folks he was going to call. The plan is excellent; he had a portfolio just moments from being on his website and had some contacts already.

My friend and I had about 70 years of experience. However, this tip we shared with him didn’t become relevant to us until later in our careers.

What to avoid

The surest way to hit a dead end with a potential client is to ask them questions that are simple “Yes” or “No” answers.

Do you have any photography jobs that I can do? The answer is “Yes” or “No.”

What to do

Ask open-ended questions, more about the person and less about you and your photography. For example, someone just laid off can call someone and ask if they would meet with them. They explain that they were laid off and want to pick their brains.

Ask questions from your experience. If you could go back and start over, what would you recommend to someone like me? People like being asked for their expertise and will likely talk to you.

Asking them for guidance and suggestions creates the sense that you seek advice, which is much different than asking for a job.

Some of the best people to talk to also went through a layoff. Surprisingly, many people have been through this before. Most have great empathy and will offer some words of wisdom.

Ask them before you leave if there is someone they recommend you talk to that could help them. Also, ask if they tell the new person that they referred them; most of the time, they will, which will help you get that next appointment.

Asking someone to look through your work and recommend how they might arrange it is a great way to get your work seen and keep the dialogue open with them.

You are starting a relationship.

It is much easier to follow up with them and say you listened to them and took their advice. You have done some things, and I wanted to review the changes you have made with you. Again, no need to ask for work.

The best advice I could ever give here is a simple observation: Those genuinely interested in building lasting relationships with people and not just using them are the most successful in life.

If you ask for all this advice and never follow up to show the person how you listened and would like them to see what you have done, they know you were there only for a job and not a relationship.

Tom Kennedy, the director of photography at the time for National Geographic, had Don Rutledge, my mentor, contact him and ask to take him to lunch. Don continued to stop by every few months and enjoy lunch with Tom. Tom would also do the same thing with Don after a while.

One day, Tom asked Don why Don had never asked for work from Tom. Tom then said that Don was the only photographer he had ever met who had done this. Tom discovers that Don is genuinely interested in having a friend.

Throughout the years, many people have done the same to Don that photographers did with Tom. They were not interested in a friendship; they just wanted a job.

My long-term career goal is to one day work with my friends. Guess what–that day is now. I want a relationship with people, not just their money.