Throughout our life we are project an attitude to all we come in contact with each day. While we all have those bad days, what are you projecting most of the time?

While we are listening to others how are we coming across?

Listening Etiquette–Visual and Audible

We need to be aware of our visual presence. Our body language is very important. Just compare the top two photos. Who would you rather have listening to you?

Even when you are not directly being talked to and you are present you need to be aware you are communicating something to those around you.

Here are just a few tips to help you out with visual presence:

• Stand in front of a mirror and practice your expressions 
• Remember to not cross your arms and remain open to the person talking
• Be careful to not give a fake smile [try mirror for practice]
• Nodding at appropriate moments is good. Nodding to just nod will come across as disingenuous.
• Video tape yourself with someone for practice

Hopefully you are becoming aware that you can have a positive or negative impact on those around you without ever saying a word. It is better to take charge of your circumstances rather than loosing control due to inadvertent visual communication.

A manager at a local drive thru had been talking to his employees about how they come across. One of the biggest game changers was when they started to record the conversations using a simple iPhone.

The drive thru restaurant had a list of things they wanted to do for each customer and the one thing that was really difficult to address was the voice inflections of the employees.

By recording the employees doing their work they now had a way for the employee to listen to how everything sounded. The manager would first listen to the conversations and going down a list of things they wanted to happen with every customer rated the employee.

The employee was then asked to evaluate themselves with no one around. After the employee and manager had both listened and evaluated separately they would talk about the performance.

Very seldom did the manager have to say much at all that the employee didn’t pick up on their own after listening to themselves.

One employee they had talked to for a while about their voice tone and attitude said this was an “ear-opening” experience.

Maybe there is a reason we have two eyes, two ears and only one mouth. I think we will get more accomplished with clients learning to use our eyes and ears proportionally.

If your are self-employed you are missing out on having formal evaluations, so create them for yourself. Be sure to ask some friends and clients you trust that will be honest for some feedback. Be prepared to hear something negative and remember they are telling you because they care.