Don Rutledge, pictured here, is the person who helped me to see and understand body language in ways that Social Work didn’t teach me. [photo by Bill Bangham]
What I was learning with Photojournalism:
While a freshman in college, I got my first SLR camera and began shooting for the school paper and yearbook. I would take my work to my uncle, who was a professional photographer and who worked as a photojournalist, to review.
He taught me how to improve my images through my contact sheets. While I was somewhat learning about body language in Social Work, it was with my uncle and later with Don Rutledge that I would be schooled in the finer points of body language.
Instead of watching a movie of me during the day and analyzing my social awkwardness, I was learning by observing others with my camera.
While many think that those with Asperger’s Syndrome lack sensitivity to others and lack empathy, I believe just the opposite. While their outward social skills are lacking, they know many things people do not see.
I believe their desire to avoid social situations is because they often feel things about others and do not have the innate ability to process and articulate these feelings spontaneously. My experience is that I overthink, which can often cloud my social skills and make it challenging to respond in a moment. It is much easier to avoid situations than to embrace them and learn from them.
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| Knolan Benfield with an environmental portrait of the pastors of leading congregations in Hickory, North Carolina, in 1985. |
Knolan Benfield
In 1985, my uncle, Knolan Benfield, was excited to show one of his series of photos of ministers. His excitement and telling me all he had to do to make these photos captured my attention. I had never been interested in what other people do like this before.
Knolan had combined photojournalism with portrait photography using lighting for the first time in his career. He took environmental photos of senior pastors in their church buildings. With each pastor, he worked hard to find those architectural settings that made each congregation different.
One of the things he was most excited about was the composition. He had learned from Don Rutledge how to pull the audience into a photo by creating layers. These layers pulled you from the front to the back of the photograph.
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| This is an example of where there are layers from front to back in a photograph helping to create more interest. |
One of the things that are pretty different in Knolan’s portraits from his days as a photojournalist was the use of lights. He rarely used lights in his photos when shooting for magazines.
Knolan combined the existing light with the strobes to help create depth and interest. To do this in 1985, he would get the light settings using a handheld meter and then add a flash to be a little brighter than the rest of the scene, maybe 1/2 to an absolute stop difference.
Knolan repurchased a unique film for his Hasselblad system that would let him shoot a Polaroid to do a test shot. This was revolutionary for him and entirely new at the time.
It was early in my career, and I could not take all this and do it myself until some eight years later.
In the meantime, I would leave my first job at a newspaper, where I was perfecting my understanding of making a photograph and telling stories, to work with Don Rutledge and Joanna Pinneo.
While learning how to see social situations using my camera, it would take years of shooting before it started to sink into my personal life.
Sensory Perception
I was naive in my early jobs that when higher-up people asked me for my input, I spoke directly and with such candidness that it would hurt me.
Those with Asperger’s tend not to see the point of superficial social contact, niceties, or passing the time with others unless there is a transparent discussion point/debate or activity. Their allegiance is to truth, not people’s feelings.
While those with Asperger’s are not good at explaining why they did something that appeared to contradict the social codes, equally, typical people are not good at explaining the exceptions to the principles and reasoning for their social behavior.
Today there is a remarkable DVD, an encyclopedia of emotions, entitled Mind Reading: The Interactive Guide to Emotions. Simon Baron-Cohen and colleagues at the University of Cambridge identified 412 human emotions (excluding synonyms). They examined the age at which children understand the meaning of each emotion and developed a taxonomy that assigned all the distinct emotions into one of 24 different groups. A multimedia company then developed interactive software designed for children and adults to learn what someone may think or feel.
On the DVD, actors (including Daniel Ratcliffe) demonstrate facial expressions, body language, and speech qualities associated with specific emotions.
In essence, the DVD does some of what I had to learn on my own through Social Work and Photography.
Problems with Non-Verbal Communication
According to the National Institute of Neurobiological Disorders and Stroke, adults with Asperger’s syndrome may have problems with non-verbal communication. They display awkward body gestures, inappropriate facial expressions, and an odd stiff gaze. They rarely look people in the eye and do not show any form of joy, such as smiling, winking, or hugging.
This may sound harsh, but your odd behavior may look a little more normal when you have a camera around your neck. Maybe the way you appear is that you are looking for a photograph. This may be true, but it allows me to study the situation harshly.
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| When I was young, I ran around almost all the time in an army uniform, playing to be G. I. Joe. My other attachment was to this tractor, which I rode everywhere for a few years. |
Intense Specialized Interests
According to the Better Health Channel, adults with Asperger’s syndrome tend to have intense, time-consuming, specialized interests. These individuals usually become experts in one or two areas and excel in their chosen careers because they choose jobs that best fit their interests. They are often referred to as eccentric, which sometimes causes social isolation. An example of an intense specialized interest would be someone who spends extended time studying science and statistics but has little interest in anything else.
I am interested in photography and explicitly use photojournalism to help causes. I read a great deal and studied nuances to help me be a better storyteller.
Many people are surprised as to how much I get done. Asperger’s has helped me stay on task to do tedious business and marketing tasks. It has enabled me to problem-solve computer issues related to my photography.
People with Asperger’s syndrome are often perfectionists, are exceptionally good at noticing mistakes, and have a conspicuous fear of failure. I have been able to channel this to help me perfect my photography, and the fear of failure has kept me busy with marketing. These are some examples of how Asperger’s has helped me with my photography business.
The Portfolio
The funny thing that is important in photography more than in other professions is the portfolio. Your work must be at a certain level before you get an interview. This works to the advantage of a person with Asperger’s. Generally, we do not do well in job interviews where you need to sell your abilities to an employer. My work is the first foot in the door, which my personality alone might not make it through.
Resource
Because I am wired, I am very good at picking up anything to do with the computer and photography. Also, because of the way I had to teach myself to understand things, I have discovered I make a good teacher. This is because I have had to break things down into parts and then put them back together to construct the whole.
Today I spend a great deal of time problem solving the teaching of technical concepts. I have also discovered over time there are so many ways to approach a problem because I often come things different than others do, and because of this, I know there needs to be more tolerant of others.
I remember crying as a young boy because the model motorcycle I was trying to put together was missing a few steps in the instructions. My mother made me wait to ask my dad if he could help. What happened was no one could figure it out. I spent hours until I found a way to solve the problem.
This emotional feeling of not being able to figure something out and no one could help me was depressing. I keep this in mind when I teach today. I encourage students and let them know I believe in them. I give them space and will come alongside them so we can process the problem together.
I realize that if they can figure it out with someone encouraging them, they will feel better about solving it than if someone just gave them the answer. I know that because I was proud of that motorcycle when I finished it.
Where I am today on this journey
I love to take on a problem that hasn’t been done before. One of my favorite jobs was photographing research projects of engineers and scientists. In those situations, you usually photograph a one-of-a-kind that hasn’t been photographed before. You have to figure it out. It is not a cookie-cutter solution.
Adults with Asperger’s syndrome can be renowned for being honest, having a strong sense of social justice, and keeping to the rules. This has been what keeps me focused on storytelling on social justice issues.
Asperger’s Syndrome people can acquire The Ability of the Mind abilities using intelligence and experience rather than intuition, which can eventually lead to an alternative form of self-consciousness as they reflect on their mental state and the mental state of others. This is a highly reflective and explicit self-consciousness similar to that of philosophers.
I have learned to use this awareness to help me be a storyteller of other people’s stories.