Chick-fil-A Spicy Deluxe Sandwich [NIKON D4, 24.0-105.0 mm f/4.0, Mode = Aperture Priority, ISO 1400, 1/250, ƒ/4, (35mm = 105)]
When I go to my Chick-fil-A restaurant and ask for my favorite Spicy Deluxe w/ Pepper Jack cheese, they are not telling me how much time it took to make the sandwich and how much tomatoes, lettuce, pepper jack cheese, Chicken, bread, butter, and all the coatings cost and that being the total price. They tell me the price.
Freelancers need to learn from other industries. Other Chick-fil-A Franchise owners are the only people talking to each other about what it costs to make the sandwich. The public doesn’t understand all those numbers.
That information is part of the formula to get the price of their sandwich. That is the point I am making here. The actual costs are part of the formula that gives you a total.
Now for up-selling restaurants, put together packages. Do you want the meal or just the sandwich? The meal comes with fries and a drink.
This is how freelancers should be talking about their prices.
Create a base price, medium price, and high price.
Do you want the basic sandwich or the deluxe? Do you enjoy the meal? Would you like the small, medium, or large?
So the point here is you need to know your costs, but don’t talk to your clients about your hourly or daily rate. Talk to them about a basic, medium, or large package.
I hope this helps you know how to price yourself for the public better.
Our trip around The Big Island of Hawaii [Fuji X-E3, 10-24mm ƒ/4, ISO 200, ƒ/7.1, 1/400 – Godox V860IIN + Godox X1NT]
Just last week Dorie and I enjoyed our trip to The Big Island of Hawaii where I was teaching for Dennis Fahringer’s School of Photography 1 at the University of Nations.
We enjoyed our time seeing the sights of the island.
No matter where we went others were touring as well and Dorie was offering to take their pictures for them.
There are safe viewing areas for most of the beauty of Hawaii, but there are also dangerous spots marked due to people who have died in those locations doing what they tell you not to do.
Now for our trip around the Island, I was carrying two cameras and three lenses.
With the 55-200mm on the Fuji X-E3, I was able to get a good video of the Volcano at sunset.
Shooting with the Fuji the 200mm is 300mm due to the sensor being a cropped sensor.
We stopped and visited with my friend Tom Butler a coffee farmer. His coffee won 2nd best in the cupping contest for Kona coffee. If you want some great 100% Kona coffee you can go to his website http://paradisefoundhawaii.com.
The main reason I am shooting with the Fuji on the trip around the Island and not the Nikon D5 is the weight and size. I wanted a compact system.
I was able to take wonderful photos in almost every kind of light on our trip. One of the stops I always make is to Ken’s House of Pancakes in Hilo.
Another of the stops that we made and we had been there before 12 years ago was the Hawaii Tropical Gardens near Hilo.
We also celebrated my birthday at Kona Brewery where the entire restaurant sang Happy Birthday to me.
Dorie enjoyed the beaches while I was teaching Lighting and Business Practices to the School of Photography at the University of Nations.
While I taught students how to shoot in a photo studio I also took them on location for lighting class.
As you can see we had lots of fun.
One of the students wanted to know how I stay inspired and going to Hawaii and seeing all the beauty of the island and the people is one of the ways I stay inspired.
Six years ago when teaching lighting to the School of Photography 1 in Kona Gary S. Chapman’s daughter Sara helped as part of the staff for class. Sometimes she was a model for the students. This is one of the assignments I used to give where the students were mixing flash with available light. In this photo, Hasting Franks took the photo as other classmates tossed water onto Sara.
This was where the student’s used a studio monobloc light to overpower the sun to shoot the assignment.
Today more students are using the Godox because it is more affordable than their Sony, Nikon, Canon, or Fuji brand flashes.
I did a post not too long ago using them to light the soccer players.
Here is the lighting setup for both of those soccer photos:
For the assignment shoot this week in Kona, Hawaii we were illustrating how to improve a difficult available lighting situation like this one here.
To do the assignment this year I took the class to the coffee shop on campus where it had been raining. I picked a situation where the off-camera flash could improve the lighting in a situation. Here you can see that one lady is backlighted and the other lady has a light on her face from the window.
On the far left you can see not just the Godox V860IIN but the instructor for the school Dennis Fahringer getting a photo of me demonstrating this to the class behind me.
Here you can see how much the off-camera Godox V860IIN flash helped the photo.
They have to first take a photo where there is no flash and then take a second photo where the flash improved the photo.
They are also making an environmental portrait. An environmental portrait is a portrait executed in the subject’s usual environment, such as in their home or workplace, and typically illuminates the subject’s life and surroundings. The term is most frequently used in a genre of photography.
We went outside as well to demonstrate how someone sitting in the shade would benefit from an off-camera flash. I instruct the students to put the flash so it forms a triangle between the subject and the camera.
A good starting place is always at 45º, but they can put the light anywhere to help improve the lighting.
Here you can see the after shot showing better lighting on the face. Also, you can see Dennis taking more photos of the teaching time with the students.
I was using a wide-angle lens to capture the environment around the subject.
A couple of years ago I changed the assignment from just a mixed lighting assignment to more of an environmental portrait. In 2016 I walked around the campus doing a similar exercise and here is that post for you.
Godox V860IIN + Godox X1NT
This is the very first year where almost all the students had bought a similar flash. Most of the students have the Godox V860II + Godox X1T for their brand of camera.
Most all the students are shooting this assignment with the speed lights that they own rather than using the studio strobes that are available as well. No one wants to carry around the heavier gear if the lighter gear will do the job.
GODOX X1-N FEATURES
Godox 2.4GHz RF Radio System Range – 100m + Flash Modes – iTTL / M / OFF HSS to 1/8000th Second Curtain Sync FEC / FEB – 1/3rd Increments (±3 Stops) FEL (Flash Exposure Lock) Manual Flash – 1/128 – 1/1 Output (1/3rd Increments) Remote Flash Zoom (Auto / Manual) (Global for All Groups Only) Group Mode – 5 Groups A / B / C / D / E (D & E Are Remote Manual Only) 32 Channels Large LCD Display with Back Light HSS Delay Setting – 0~19.9ms, (100us Increments) Modeling flash Auto Memory Function AF Assist light (With an On/Off Switch) Wireless Shutter Release Micro USB Port for Firmware Upgrades Transmitter PC Sync Port – Input & Output Receiver 2.5mm Sync and Shutter Release Port – Output
Photographing Island Breeze Dancer Victoria Taimane Kaopua while showing the class at Youth With A Mission Photo School 1 how to use off-camera strobe. [Nikon D5, Sigma 24-105mm ƒ/4, ISO 400, ƒ/5.6, 1/1600 – 2 Godox V860IIN + Godox X1NT with CTO +1 gel]
Last night I worked with Island Breeze dancer/singer Victoria Taimane Kaopua at the Old Kona Airport along the beach. I am teaching lighting this week at the University of the Nations-Kona, School of Photography I.
Last night I was teaching them off-camera flash and mixing it with daylight.
You are seeing three flashes on the left 2 Godox V860IIN and Flashpoint XPLOR 600 HSS TTL Battery-Powered Monolight with Built-in R2 2.4GHz Radio Remote System – Bowens Mount (AD600 TTL). Both systems work together using the Godox X1NT. They make this so these will work with Sony, Nikon, Canon, and Fuji. When you buy them just get the one for your system.
In the first photo, the only flashes firing are the smaller speed lights and not the larger studio strobe.
I start with a photo of the dancer with out flash and then I add the light.
My friend Dave Black likes to call this the Silhouette and Reveal.
I would show the students some of the shots as I was working.
I also was showing the model dancer the photos.
Today we will go over the photos in our class and I will see how many students paid attention to the conversations I had with the dancer and when I showed her photos. I will ask them why I did this. Do you know why?
The dancer and I were working together to make the photo. I was able to show her what I was getting hoping to get her more excited about the shoot and engage her more in the process.
We will talk about composition today as well as the lighting.
We are also going to talk about VALS today. That is a Voice Activated Light Stand, which is having someone hold your flash and adjust it when you ask.
Besides it helping you it also gets people involved and creates excitement for everyone because they are now helping you and are a part of the process.
If you want to do this with me give me a call and we can organize a photo shoot with your friends in your hometown.
I have been covering an annual meeting for a client these past few days. For the most part, I can set my camera to these settings:
Aperture Priority Auto ISO – ISO 100-12800 on Fuji X-E3 & ISO 100-102,400 on Nikon D5 with starting shutter speed @ 1/100 or 1/200.
I find that in places I am working fast that I tend to take the shutter speed up a little faster to avoid getting motion in photos due to being anxious.
So for about 90% of the photos, this works just well. I was able to capture speakers and people hanging out at the event.
Now the problem comes that if you are not used to shooting a variety of things when you get the Olympic Gymnast Laurie Hernandez performing shooting at 1/200 will make her look out of focus and blurred.
Since I shoot sports as well I just switched my Auto ISO shutter speed setting to 1/4000. I have this saved as a preset that I choose on my Nikon D5.
I also must remember to switch the camera back so that I am always getting the best quality, which is the lowest ISO at the slowest shutter speed I can shoot safely to get sharp photos.
Hope this tip reminds you to check your shutter speed when shooting events. Is it set to stop the action appropriately?
One of the types of photography I do a great deal of for clients in event coverage. This is the type of coverage that you are capturing the photos with available light and an occasional on-camera flash for a quick grip and grin.
In these situations, you need to go as wide as possible to pretty close up. I find that the Nikon 14-24mm ƒ/2.8 is the best lens for capturing those super wide and wide-angle shots.
With a new campus dedication, I needed to show tour groups going through and around the new campus. I used the 14 -24mm to capture the room interiors with people to give a sense of perspective and to capture as much of the room as possible.
Now I was also using the 28-300mm because I was needing to capture moderate to telephoto shots of people around the campus and the speakers at a podium.
Now, this lens combination works great for just about any situation. Now for a smaller venue, I am often using the Sigma 24-105mm ƒ/4 when I just want to carry one camera.
If you are to cover things where you have speakers and need to capture rooms where you cannot back up enough then the 14-24mm and 28-300mm lenses will help you do a great job.
I am also loving my Fuji X series cameras and lenses. I am finding shooting with the Fuji X-E2/X-E3 with the 10-24mm and the 55-200mm lenses will give you a similar lens coverage.
The Fuji is a much lighter system than the Nikon.
It is much easier to walk around at an event all day with the Fuji system.
I haven’t tried the Fujifilm XF 100-400mm f/4.5-5.6 R LM OIS. I would love to try this with some high school football games to see if it could work. However, I am super confident with the Nikon D5 & Sigma 120-300mm ƒ/2.8 with the TC-2001 converter keeping up with the action.
I am also more pleased with the Nikon D5 having microphone and headphone jacks for recording video. The Nikon D5 is the camera system that does it all and my only complaint is the weight.
My recommendation is to have lenses for covering events that are at least 20mm wide to 30mm for a full-frame camera. As far as a camera I cannot see ever buying a camera today that doesn’t have an ISO of at least 51200 and a low of 100. This will let you shoot in almost every situation without the need for a flash. The reasons I use my flash today are to add light to improve the photo where often there is no light.
Shooting events requires you to be ready for just about everything, so be sure you have the lenses, camera, and flash to deliver to the client.
I bought the Fujifilm 10-24mm ƒ/4 lens. It translates to a 15-36mm (35mm Equivalent) lens.
I have advised many photographers looking for smaller systems like the Fuji mirrorless camera. Many of my friends have already had this lens in their bags for a while, but I finally picked this up, and before using it on a paying job, I am just shooting test shots.
My test shots are not portfolio shots.
I am just shooting things to get a feel for the depth-of-field and how it focuses, which is super fast and quiet on the Fuji X-E3.
This is one of my favorite zoom ranges. I like to use a great deal. I have the Nikon 14-24mm ƒ/2.8 that I use on my Nikon D5, which is like a center block compared to the Fuji X-E3 and the 10-24mm.
I love just taking photos all the time. It is not just my profession but also my hobby. However, I am not a fan of the weight of the Nikon D5 cameras and lenses. I trust them a lot more than the Fuji, but this has more to do with having 35+ years of experience with my Nikons.
When someone pays me to shoot an assignment for them, they are paying me to know what my gear will do and for my creative instincts. Whenever you buy new equipment, always take it for a good number of test drives, so you know any quirks before you find out about the paying job.
Stay tuned for more photos from my new Fuji X-E3 and my new 10-24mm ƒ/4 lens. I am off to Hawaii in a few weeks and can’t wait to see how they do around the Big Island.
I am my family’s visual historian. I take photos and give them away to my family all the time. Thanks to social media, there is a good chance these may be seen and enjoyed more than when I shot the film, and they went into a family photo album.
While I am not working on an assigned story, I still capture our family’s story in moments. The cool thing with social media is our ability to match words with those pictures.
I still take those formal photos of our families, but the living life photos capture the personalities of each person, in my opinion, so much more.
This role often means you are just observing, but I believe long into the future, when I am no longer here, my family will cherish these and learn about their ancestors.
My mother’s dad was always documenting his family and my dad.
I grew up every Christmas with my dad having these lights pointed at us as we walked into the room. I am not sure I saw anything for a few moments. It was so bright.
This is one of the rare moments where my wife Dorie has been with two of her sisters. While getting to see them was excellent, capturing the moment for us to remember makes this so we can tell the generations who their family is and how they are all related.
Here are a few tips to make you a better visual family historian.
Take lots of photos of your family.
Share your photos with your family. USB Jump Drives are good.
Use metadata to put the text with each photo. For example, be sure you have the occasion and the names of the people in the image.
Put your photos in some storage system like Google Drive, DropBox, or other online services.
The past few weeks have been bitterly cold for our community in Roswell, Georgia. While we didn’t have a lot of snow, it stayed on the ground longer than usual due to the freezing weather.
While we always have birds at our bird feeders during this cold snap, they have been eating a lot more. I think this is because the ground is so hard to kill many insects and keep many in the background.
We stayed inside more than usual due to the icy streets for many days.
Since I couldn’t sit still, I decided to take photos of the birds at our bird feeder with a new Fujifilm X-E3 camera and a new flash system made by Flashpoint for the Fuji cameras.
This morning I pondered how they survived and was reminded of the scripture that says God takes care of the birds. I was fascinated by the scripture that birds do not “sow nor reap nor gather into barns” as humans do, yet God takes care of them.
No matter how well I know the scriptures about how God will take care of us–I worry.
We all indeed worry to some extent but do it too much, and it can color your whole life, leaving you strung out, unhappy, and constantly anxious. It’s not unusual either. Around 1 in 20 of us experiences excessive worrying – called Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) – at some time in our lives.
If you are struggling, get some help through a licensed counselor like a social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist.
One thing I noticed from being locked up inside due to the cold is getting cabin fever. It can be depressing as well.
Keep physically active. Develop a routine, so you’re physically active most days of the week. Exercise is a powerful stress reducer. It may improve your mood and help you stay healthy. Start slowly and gradually increase the amount and intensity of your activities.
Make sleep a priority. Do what you can to get enough sleep to feel rested. If you aren’t sleeping well, see your doctor.
Eat healthily. Healthy eating — such as focusing on vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and fish — may help reduce anxiety.
As a freelancer looking for work to pay your bills, focus on the jobs, people need now. Portraits/headshots are usually needed quickly compared to someone booking a wedding photographer.
People don’t book headshots six months to a year out, but that is how they book photographers for their weddings.
Get together with other photographers and talk. They will not solve your problems by telling you their clients’ names, but you will pick up tricks and how they talk to their clients.
Maybe you can just practice a cold call with another photographer. Maybe you can practice doing an estimate with them.
Don’t let life ruffle your feathers.
Focus on one thing at a time. For me–and most people–multi-tasking typically leads to chaos. I try to choose one task, see it through, and head on to the next task that needs to be done.
Learn to be flexible. Things will come up, or someone will ask you to help with something, so learn to go with the flow a little bit. Just take a moment to think about what is happening and regroup. Change your plans accordingly.
Learn to prioritize. Let’s face it; some things will not impact your goals if you don’t get to them. However, there are some action items, if you put them off, can wreak havoc.
You can use your energy to focus on all that could go wrong or, even better, just focus that energy on doing something. The energy amount is about the same, but one moves you forward and leaves you standing still.
Remember, birds go where the food is, which is called migration. This is where we get the word about migrant workers. They go where the work is for them. They go where they can help their families survive.
Today is a day for action. The question for you is, what steps will you take? While the birds don’t “sow nor reap nor gather into barns,” they are out looking for food. How about you?
Story of Cain and Abel [Fujifilm X-E3, 18-55mm, ISO 1000, ƒ/4, 1/200]
Yesterday, when I was in my Sunday School class, we studied the story of Cain and Abel. While I have read this story repeatedly since I was a little child, I come to the scripture a little differently each time. Life experiences and where I am in life really can impact one’s perspective.
Reading this as a business owner, I saw this in a new light. I thought of how I know this story lives out in business daily.
Just read the story with a customer being God, while Cain and Abel are two freelancers giving estimates to get a job.
Genesis 4:1-15
4 Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.” 2 Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.
Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. 3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. 4 And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
6 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”
8 Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.
9 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”
10 The Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. 11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. 12 When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.”
13 Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment is more than I can bear. 14 Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.”
15 But the Lord said to him, “Not so; anyone who kills Cain will suffer vengeance seven times over.” Then the Lord put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him.
While discussing this passage in class, I was struck by why God didn’t treat both Cain and Abels’s gifts equally. The scripture doesn’t say why he treated them the way he did.
You would think God should treat them equally.
I can think of many Christmas and birthdays where opening a present I was disappointed, or one of my family/friends was disappointed with a present. It was always important in my circles that you appreciated the gift.
So I can get why God might like one gift more than the other; I am that way. Our customers and potential clients also have reasons they pick one vendor over another, and they don’t always tell you why.
Instead of dealing directly with God over his gift Cain got angry with his brother Abel. Sound familiar. We often are upset with our competition.
Instead of taking our anger out on others, we need to work on ourselves. We need to remember there is always the next time. Maybe not with that client, but with another.
Maybe you are like Cain and realize you only have “fruits of the soil” as a farmerand not an animal to sacrifice because you are a farmer and not the cowboy. Don’t be shortsighted and think eliminating your competition is the only way to win a contract. [You could be just talking about your competition badly to the customer.]
Look at what you have to offer and do everything you can to be sure that your presentation of your gifts is as good as the gifts themselves.
Focus on your Audience’s Needs. … As you prepare the presentation, you must remember what the audience needs and wants to know, not what you can tell them. While giving the presentation, you also need to focus on your audience’s response and react to that.
2017 SOP1 Group Photo–L/R Juan Carlos Sanchez De Fuentes, Thema Black, Daisy Wang, Fred Tesone, Hayley Webb, Michael Gellerstedt, Laurelee Martens, Chance Punahele Ortiz,Heather Morse, & Dennis Fahringer. Also featuring Keiko the dog. [Fuji X-E2, Fuji 18-55mm, ISO 200, ƒ/9, 1/80]
A month from now I will be back in Kona, Hawaii to teach the YWAM School of Photography 1 portrait lighting and business practices for a week.
This group photo is last year’s class. This year’s group will be twice the size of last year.
While I will be teaching a great deal about lighting the business practices is the one thing that over the years has proven even more valuable to the classes.
“How do you make a living doing photography?”, is answered through solid business practices.
Knowing your Cost-Of-Doing-Business and how to price your work doesn’t get you clients. It only makes sure that you make money when you price jobs rather than losing money.
How do you get those clients? Well this is the Catch-22 of Freelancing.
When you are a professional photographer you are like every other business person. You are in the business of solving people and businesses problems through the use of photography.
What you need to be doing is interviewing people and listening. You need to find out what their problems are so that you can pitch to them solutions for which you can provide those services.
Having a portfolio is like any other business where you can display your wares, or as in this example Maine lobster buoys on the side of the road of commerce.
If the client know what they need then this works really well, except now your work is more of a commodity. This is an article of trade or commerce, especially a product as distinguished from a service. Due to your work being seen as a commodity it is much harder to get prices that work with your Cost-Of-Doing-Business.
You need to be seen as a visionary for the person’s business and not just a commodity if you are in the creative arts type of a business.
You need to put yourself in situations where you get to listen to business people talk about what they do. You need to learn about their business. You need to ask questions that give you understanding.
Only when you really understand what problems they are facing with their business can you then think of ways that you can help solve some of those problems.
Now often they do not even know that your solution is to a problem they have. This will come over time where you start to recognize problems facing business owners and knowing that there are solutions you have done for others that could work for another business.
Here is the Catch-22 you must face each day to make a living as a photographer. You have solutions for a business to thrive, but you must first find a way to know what problem a particular business is facing before you can offer a solution.
Making this even more complicated is that if the client already knows what they need then you will be treated as a commodity. You need to be the photographer that has business solutions and not just the ability to take a picture.
One of my wife and I’s favorite photos of our daughter Chelle. She has her first Shirley Temple drink at the beach. Her expression of how much fun she was having and that we had this experience with her and the photo now helps us remember that moment like it just happened.
This is the time of year we make New Year’s resolutions, which are typically about taking care of ourselves. What are your Business New Year’s Resolutions?
Most likely, whatever you come up with is a way to build your brand. Let me give you some business topics you should be very concerned about this year.
Number One _________________
I want to leave that blank for now for a reason. I will come back to it shortly for you. Now let’s look at some of those hot topics.
Quality Control – You should always be concerned that you are giving your customers the very best they can get in the open market. Notice I didn’t say the best that you can give them. If you lack something that is keeping your quality behind, that should be one of the things you want to address this year.
In my industry, photographers always try to keep their camera gear as new as possible. The images from the latest cameras are superior to the quality of older models. I know many photographers who update immediately and others who upgrade every other model.
Speed of Service – If you are not careful, your competition will take away your business because you are too slow. Customers have problems for which a company has a solution to fix. If you are too slow, the customer will go elsewhere to solve those problems.
Pricing – There are many things that affect pricing, so you need to be sure you are on top of everything.
One thing about pricing is the cost-of-doing business. You must be sure you are covering to make a living. However, have you considered how your pricing comes across to the customer?
Too many businesses are more concerned with what they make and covering their costs that their pricing is worded to how they think and not about how the customer feels.
I am a big proponent of at least giving a customer three to four prices: bare minimum, medium, and high price packages and even the Whoop Ti Doo for a fourth option.
How you differentiate the pricing points also gives a better understanding of the different services you can provide.
I want to return to the Number One thing I started with but left blank. What core values guide your business?
This core value is what I think of as the culture you exhibit to your client. When you go into a hotel where the décor is all about a log cabin compared to going into a castle, it sets a tone for the business.
I also think about the restaurant chains Texas Roadhouse, The Ground Round, and Logan’s Roadhouse that all served peanuts, and customers tossed the shells on the ground. The waitress greets you with Howdy as much as a Hello.
Now, these core values often will have you doing things that do not make the most business sense. We often talk about a person having a moral compass. A moral compass is an internalized set of values and objectives that guide a person regarding ethical behavior and decision-making.
I know of one man who confronted a young man when he discovered that his employee was drinking on the job. As long as an employee would come clean and own up to their digressions, he would do all he could to help that employee.
He helped that employee overcome his drinking problem. It made no business sense to do this, but this was his core value of giving those who need help and willing to make changes the help. Now he would fire many people as well, and the line in the sand appeared to me to be one of if the person would own up to their mistakes.
Here are some ways that you might want to evaluate how your character is coming across and revealing a lack of core values that show a moral compass.
How do you speak to your spouse? Let me say I am preaching to myself on this one. We all need to show respect and not get so short with those closest to us. Whenever you answer your phone, and it is your spouse, others in earshot hear how you treat your spouse.
How do you speak to your children? Now, if you don’t have any, this could be anyone who is a subordinate that depends on you. You always want to talk with respect and love to them. You still need to discipline, but how you do it should help to build them up and not tear them down.
How do you speak to those serving you? Our son works in a restaurant as a server, and the stories he tells horrifying how people treat others. You need to be able to request things you need and correct a mistake in a way that honors those who serve you. Now, if you get horrible service and are mistreated, you still can handle this in a way that demonstrates the high road.
How do you speak to your enemies? Truly listening to others and addressing their concerns in a calm voice is a powerful way to win friends. Stay with the facts over disagreements and explain what you can and are unwilling to do.
Your attitude can jeopardize the situation more than the words themselves. Abraham Lincoln wisely said, “Better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”
Put your moral compass first this year. Focus on relationships and not on transactions. If you do this, then you will be successful.