Sports might be the last area of civility I see today in our society.

Stephen L. Carter, the acclaimed author of The Culture of Disbelief, proves that manners matter to America’s future. He says, “Civility represents the sum of all the sacrifices that one makes in a democracy for the sake of living a common life.”

Listen to Carter speak at Yale on the topic:

Now, the reason I say sports is one of the last places I see civility isn’t because people are not at odds; they play hard and still try to get along after the game and during the game by respecting each other.

Over the past 25 years, I have watched many institutions undergo significant changes. I watched my denomination, the Southern Baptist Convention, growing up from a front-row seat, not just divide itself but now do even less of what it was doing regarding missions. I was laid off during the infighting because giving was dropping, and they could no longer support my position.

My first job out of college was for a small daily newspaper. The First Amendment protects the media, which reports what is happening in America. However, due to so many financial changes, the media is a fraction of the size it once was to cover our country. At the same time, our country’s population has grown.

I watched as predominately Baptist fundamentalists organized to be The Moral Majority and attach themselves to the Republican party. I would sit in small groups in churches through the years, and it was assumed that you were Republican if you were part of the church because many didn’t see them as separate but the same.

In past presidential debates, the candidates took their turns more than today, where they talked over each other and the moderators. This is only a reflection of how we speak to each other today.

I applaud Andy Stanley’s message to his church not long ago about the election. Listen for yourself:

I think Stanley’s points around the scripture are what can help us restore civility to our public discourse.

“Teacher, what is the most important commandment in the Law?”
Jesus answered:
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. This is the first and most important commandment. The second most important commandment is like this one. And it is, “Love others as much as you love yourself.” All the Law of Moses and the Books of the Prophets are based on these two commandments.

Matthew 22:36-40

Those non-Christians could also live by some of the guidelines Stanley points out. I love how he encourages you to share your opinion and even argue your point. However, this is where I think his wisdom from the scripture would help reunite America. We should not make our points at the expense of undermining our influence.

The Great Unfriending

This weekend, I unfriended a few more people because they crossed that line and jeopardized their relationship with me. I don’t doubt I have probably done something to encourage someone in my life to do the same.

Many will likely remember this election cycle as the time we unfriended someone on social media.

Business Tip

No matter your political position, you must be careful not to jeopardize a relationship or your ability to influence your industry.

In my faith, we believe that Jesus died to demonstrate how much God wanted to restore the relationship. We believe there is nothing one can do that God would not forgive to repair a relationship. The only thing we think can break this relationship is man’s rejection of God’s olive leaf.

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

Revelation 3:20

As business people, we should live this out in our businesses. We should try to recover customers and do all we can to keep the ones we have.

We should speak up when we disagree with a client and argue our point with them. However, as Andy Stanley reminds us, don’t do any of this at the risk of losing your influence or jeopardizing the relationship.

You will score with your clients when you treat them as people. You will continue to have influence when you respect their opinions as well.

By living out Matthew 22:36-40, you will be the most confident, curious, composed, and compassionate person in the room.