Knolan “Uncle Brother” Benfield, remembered for his warmth, leadership, and lifelong passion for photography, is pictured here in a candid moment that reflects his approachable spirit. Though not a formal portrait, this image was chosen for his obituary because it captures the genuine presence that his family and friends loved dearly.
My brother-in-law once pointed out something that stuck with me. He’s a financial advisor, and every week, he keeps a tab open on his computer to check local obituaries. It’s not a morbid hobby—it’s a professional responsibility. Sometimes, families don’t think to contact him immediately, and he needs to know if a client has passed.
But what stood out to him most wasn’t just the names. It was the photos—or, in many cases, the lack of them. He often noted how many obituaries didn’t even include a proper photo of the person, leaving families to substitute flowers or other images instead of their loved one’s face. And when photos were included, they were often poor quality—cropped from a group shot, blurry, or not truly reflective of who that person was.
And he’s right. Too often, the “last picture” representing someone’s life does not honor them well.
A Shared Responsibility
I think we all have a role to play here. Making sure there’s a good, recent portrait available isn’t just the individual’s responsibility—it’s something families and friends can help with, too.
- For individuals: Make it a priority to schedule professional portraits every few years, especially after milestones like marriage, children, anniversaries, or career changes.
- For families: Encourage each other to update portraits. Plan family photo sessions and consider gifting portraits to parents or grandparents.
- For friends: We often notice when someone hasn’t updated their photo in years. A little encouragement—or organizing a group portrait—can make a lasting difference.
How Often Is Enough?
- Young adults (20s–40s): Every 5–7 years, or after a significant life change.
- Middle age (40s–60s): Every 3–5 years, as faces, styles, and families evolve.
- Seniors (65+): Every 2–3 years, to ensure a recent, dignified portrait is always available.
A Portrait Is a Gift
When that time comes—and it comes for all of us—the obituary photo becomes more than just a picture. It’s a lasting image that family and friends will hold onto. By taking the time to update portraits, we’re giving our loved ones a gift: a true reflection of who we were in that season of life.
Let’s not leave it to chance. Let’s share the responsibility—individually, as families, and as friends—to ensure that the photos that speak for us honor the lives we’ve lived.
What Not to Do: Avoiding Common Mistakes with Obituary Portraits
When families prepare an obituary, one of the most critical choices is selecting the portrait representing their loved one. Unfortunately, I’ve seen many examples where the photo distracts from the person’s memory rather than honoring it. A poorly chosen portrait can unintentionally overshadow the heartfelt words written in the obituary.
Here are some common pitfalls to avoid:
1. Avoid Poor Lighting
Dark, underexposed images or photos with harsh shadows make it difficult to see the person clearly. Obituary portraits should feel warm, inviting, and true to life. A dim photo may unintentionally feel gloomy instead of celebratory.
2. Don’t Crop Too Tightly
Sometimes families crop in so close that the photo feels cramped, or worse, cuts off part of the head or shoulders. A little breathing room around the subject makes the portrait feel more natural and respectful.
3. Stay Away from Distracting Backgrounds
Busy patterns, cluttered rooms, or awkward scenery can take attention away from the face. A clean, simple background ensures the viewer focuses on the person’s expression—the heart of the portrait.
4. Skip Candid Party Snapshots
While using a favorite family gathering photo may be tempting, many casual snapshots include drinks, awkward poses, or other people cropped out. These don’t translate well into a lasting tribute. Instead, look for a more timeless, dignified image.
5. Don’t Use Outdated or Poor-Quality Prints
Sometimes the only available photo is an old, faded print. While these can carry nostalgia, if the image is blurry, discolored, or damaged, it may not be the best for publication. A restoration can help, but it’s worth asking whether another photo would serve better.
6. Avoid Overly Stylized or Over-Edited Images
Filters, heavy retouching, or artistic effects might work on social media, but they rarely fit the tone of an obituary. Keep it authentic and natural.
Final Thought
The obituary portrait is more than just a photo—it’s often the lasting image people will carry in their memory. Choosing one with clear lighting, a natural expression, and a respectful presentation ensures your loved one is remembered with dignity.