Temple head coach Dawn Staley commands the floor with focus and fire during a matchup against Georgia Tech on November 18, 2007, at Alexander Memorial Coliseum in Atlanta. Her sideline intensity wasn’t just strategy—it was leadership in motion, a picture of what it means to coach with conviction.
Ever dealt with a difficult client who couldn’t calm down?
Maybe it was over a missed deadline or a last-minute change. Maybe they sent a message that felt way more intense than the situation called for. In those moments, it’s easy to label someone as “high-maintenance” or “difficult.” But what if we stopped to ask—What if they never got the training that maybe we were lucky enough to receive?
Or maybe—we didn’t either.
A Powerful Insight on Emotional Maturity
In a recent conversation between Simon Sinek and Dr. Becky Kennedy (watch it here on YouTube—start around the 18:10 mark), Dr. Becky shares a transformative insight:
“All of us come into the world with the capacity to feel all the emotions adults feel. But we don’t have any of the tools to manage them.”
That means every outburst, every meltdown, and even subtle moments of shutdown can be traced to one question: Did someone teach us how to feel what we feel and still stay in relationship with others?
If the answer is no, we don’t grow out of that—we carry it with us into adulthood, into our work, and into every client conversation.
Why This Matters for Photographers and Communicators
Those of us working in the gig economy aren’t just creatives—we’re negotiators, peacekeepers, and brand managers. And we do it without formal training in leadership or emotional development.
Leadership isn’t reserved for someone with a corner office. It’s how we:
De-escalate a panicked bride on wedding day
Calm an anxious CEO during a headshot session
Respond to late payments or vague feedback with grace, not defensiveness
Understanding emotional regulation is one of the most important leadership tools, and many of us never knew it was part of the job.
When Emotions Flare: What To Do
So, how do we lead emotionally when tension rises—whether in a photo shoot, Zoom call, or inbox?
Here are six simple steps:
Step
Why It Helps
1. Label the emotion
Pause and think: Am I frustrated? Ashamed? Overwhelmed? Naming it helps shift from reaction to reflection.
2. Breathe and center
A 4-second inhale, 6-second exhale slows your heart and lets your brain re-engage.
3. Validate it
Say to yourself or the other person: “This is hard, and it makes sense you feel that way.”
4. Set a boundary with empathy
“I want to get this right with you. Can we walk through it together?”
5. Ask curious questions
“What would a good outcome look like for you?” moves the convo toward resolution.
6. Reflect after the moment
Ask: What helped? What didn’t? Self-review builds long-term emotional skill.
You Don’t Need a Title to Lead
This is your leadership if you’re a freelancer, storyteller, photographer, or communicator.
It’s the ability to create safety when others feel unsafe. It’s the choice to respond instead of react. And it’s the courage to do the inner work that ripples outward in every client relationship, every project, every post.
You’re already leading.
You just may not have called it that yet.
✨ What About You?
Have you ever paused and handled a difficult moment differently, and it changed everything? Or did you realize you were reacting from a place of emotional habit, not leadership?
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments, or share this with someone who needs it.
