Do you remember your teachers when you were younger pointing out to you or someone else, “If you can’t find something nice, then don’t say anything at all?”
There are other variations of decorum we have been taught, and sadly, many adults need to be reminded.
Just the other day, I heard a wife giving her husband talking.
“Were your comments necessary? Did they uplift anyone? If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything. Did you hear me?”
The person who attempts to ‘one up‘ you in a conversation is a person who needs admiration and adoration from you and your other listeners. They will use this tactic to show others that they know more than you, which is demeaning.
Don’t respond. Just listen and watch. In time to come, people will want to interact with you only because you have been gracious all the while to let this narcissist have their way.
You don’t need to spar with PIGS. You are a high-value, gracious person. You are not the same as that desperado who constantly needs attention and admiration.
What’s Their Problem Not Yours
Don’t ever be the person who thinks you can say whatever you want and not care how it impacts others.
The hardest thing to do sometimes is not to comment. You may have a bright mind and intellectual capacity beyond many people, but be very careful, or you can become condescending.
How often do people ask for your opinion as compared to how often you offer it without people asking?
We are all just the same as when we were kids. We want to have fun together. We all love to learn.
The squirrel moment is when you suddenly start talking or thinking about an entirely new subject or pursuing a somewhat related or irrelevant course while neglecting the main issue.
In most communication, a person moves from point A to point B. If how they communicate doesn’t change the audience following them from point A to point B, then any comment by another person is a “Squirrel Moment.”
If someone is telling people about a great restaurant and where it is located, adding a comment that it is a great restaurant, but they are closed on Monday so going any other day is helpful. You are adding to the conversation.
However, jumping into the conversation to say it isn’t an excellent restaurant is a way of just putting down the other person’s comments.
With A Client – It Can Wait
The most challenging conversations I deal with where I cannot just walk away are with customers and prospects.
Before I can get a job, most of the time, I must put in a bid on that job. I find that clients are often not interested in discussing a project, and you cannot just give people a bottom line price without managing those expectations of what they are getting for that price.
My work isn’t a commodity in most situations where the lowest price always gets the job.
My product is very customized, so the price is often difficult to compare to another creative.