When my wife and daughter help me on assignments and it comes time to pack up they bring the gear to me and then I put it away.
Often as we are doing this the client is nearby and my wife explains how I have a particular place for everything and how she doesn’t want to cause me panic.
New Gear Creates Panic
Photography is great for those who have a tendency towards an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. No one wants to be OCD because it can be debilitating. But camera bags and all this gear work great for organizing your stuff.
Here you can see my Think Tank Airport Security™ V2.0 Rolling Camera Bag That I use all the time.
Once you get your bag all set with your gear for the most part the gear has to go in the exact same location or it will not fit. All it takes is buying just one more piece of gear that requires you to reconfigure your bag.
So the other day I did just that and then just a day later took off to Houston, Texas for a job. I reached for a piece of gear I use all the time and it wasn’t where I always put it.
This is when I was reminded of a story in the Bible which captured my emotional state so well.
“Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’
While on the job I was on a short time-line and out of town. I quickly adjusted and got the job done not using that piece of gear. I thought that I must have left that gear on the fireplace where I was putting things while I rearranged my camera bag.
Last night after returning from Houston I too searched my house. When we have a cleaner come to our home, she tends to put things away and sometimes it takes us a little while to find it. So I knew she had been at our home around that same time and thought maybe she moved it somewhere.
I asked my daughter and wife if they had seen my gear. They had no clue as to what I was describing. This went on for a few hours. I decided to go and get out of the house to clear my head and get something to eat. Later I returned and continued to look.
It is very important to note that the challenges presented by Asperger Syndrome [which I have] are very often accompanied by unique gifts. Indeed, a remarkable ability for intense focus is a common trait. This meant I could not let go until I resolved this issue.
Beating myself up
I then remembered I had some boxes that the new gear came in and wondered did I throw it away accidently? I have more jobs soon and was upset that I would have to go to the camera store and replace the gear. It would be around $800. No one just casually replaces something for $800.
Finally I gave up after finding an older piece of gear and realizing I could use this temporarily. The rechargeable batteries in the gear were dead. So I went to my bag and looked for the chargers–which also had been moved around.
As I took one of the rechargers out of my bag I found my gear.
Once a memory is created, it must be stored (no matter how briefly). Many experts think there are three ways we store memories: first in the sensory stage; then in short-term memory; and ultimately, for some memories, in long-term memory.
Important information is gradually transferred from short-term memory into long-term memory. The more the information is repeated or used, the more likely it is to eventually end up in long-term memory, or to be “retained.”
Usually I do a pretty good job of remembering my organization changes, because I am physically moving the gear and thinking about what I am doing it normally sticks. If however I get a phone call in the middle this can affect my memory recall.
The hardest part of an event like this in my life is the ability to forgive myself. It is actually harder most of the time to forgive myself than others.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” –– Buddah
Benefits of forgiveness:
- Lowers stress levels
- Lowers your heart rate
- Lowers blood pressure
- Helps you sleep better
- Helps you live longer
I could physically feel my body relax once I found it and then as I began to forgive myself for my memory lapse I also felt the stress release.
Had I really lost the gear I would have bought replacement gear and then also had to forgive myself so I could move on.
This will happen again at some time in the future where I cannot find something the key to success is allowing for yourself to be human and make mistakes.